I have sat at the feet of my Heavenly Parents to receive revelation about women. Does God slight His daughters when He asked them to accept plural marriage from the 1840s to the 1890s? Does He slight His daughters when He commands their husbands to "rule over [them]"?
Well, the scripture Ephesians 5:22 states: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." So, the act of submitting to your husband should feel the exact same as you feel when you submit to the Lord. You should not feel like a door mat, but like it explains in Psalms 37:4, "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
Ephesians also expounds on marriage this way: "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:32-33)
I have not had to wrestle with God on this issue, He has told me plainly and eagerly of His love for each of His daughters. Just me saying it doesn't mean anything, I know. I wish I could tell you the mystery that Paul is talking about here. But I can't. All I can say is that Heavenly Father loves you, sisters. And it is every man's responsibility to secure one of you in this life because if he doesn't, he will be truly sorry and will have to work thousands of times harder to get a righteous woman later if he doesn't get one here in this life. There is no woman in this world that Heavenly Father doesn't want to have the blessings of marriage.
Heavenly Father is the ultimate feminist in that a woman should never submit to a man without feeling fully safe, secure, and taken care of, just like a righteous woman naturally submits to Jesus because He takes such good care of her.
Heavenly Father's plan is for a man to become worthy of a wife, and prove himself to her in order to have her for the eternities. If he does not sufficiently earn her in this life, then she is not forced to stay married to him for eternity. God gives women their agency and recognizes that women who submit themselves to Christ are jewels for men. It is a man's priesthood responsibility to work for his wife every day of his life so she feels comfortable giving herself to him and bestowing upon him the blessings of eternal posterity.
One article on lds.org explains the mystery Paul is talking about in this way:
"the mystery may not be so much in the manner in which a wife submits herself to her husband as, in fact, the way a husband will preside over and interact with his wife and family."
(Brent Barolow, https://www.lds.org/ensign/1973/02/strengthening-the-patriarchal-order-in-the-home?lang=eng).
I know that this statement above is the truth. God created women to naturally submit to the alpha male. If this is not apparent, just go to a fast and testimony meeting. The majority of those who will bear their testimonies of Jesus Christ are women. Women love submitting to righteous leaders. Hence, women are God's greatest gift to man, a gift that must be earned, and women are fully free to offer themselves to their husbands. They are never forced to become wives and mothers. Being a righteous wife and mother is such an act of commitment, that a woman should never be forced into this. This is a choice she makes to give of herself to a worthy man.
Doctrine and Covenants 121:36 states, "That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness."
Many men are called, but few are chosen, because they do not understand this mystery. They do not understand that the greatest honor a man can have in this life is to learn to love and serve his wife, to the point of dying for her, but more so by living and working for her day by day. A wife who is righteous and loves Jesus will naturally submit and be totally erotic for the man who leads her righteously.
Women have always and will always completely swoon over the man who takes charge of her. Let the feminists say what they want, it doesn't alter reality. As Dr. Laura put it during one of her radio shows, There is a reason for the classic "Taming of the Shrew" by Shakespeare. Give a bratty wife or child an inch and they will take miles.
God will hold men accountable for taking charge of affairs in the home, and when He does, the righteous wife will swoon, and the bratty wife will develop some respect for her husband. A wife loses respect for her husband every time she has to remind him about family prayer and scripture study. This is not her job. It is the man's, and God will hold the husband responsible. I urge men to try it out, to take charge of reading the scriptures and praying with real intent with your wife, and take charge of other matters in the home, and see if your marriage does not start to become what God intended it to be: a place where the mysteries of godliness can be unfolded.
Ephesians is clear that it is a man who is in charge of family scripture study. Chapter 5:25-28 states:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
If a man does not like his wife, it is because he does not wash her in the word. He does not spiritually lead her. Doesn't he know that just like the brain has a prefrontal cortex that protects the inner mind from believing anything it hears, a man protects his woman and builds her confidence through teaching her the truth, through the scriptures and in every other way. And the truth is, God loves His daughters and wants all of their needs taken care of, physically, spiritually, and mentally.
All of us women know that we are not perfect and want to be better. And God will help us by giving us husbands who build us up. Then we will become perfect.
Inasmuch as many women are not getting married, let alone dating, I do believe firmly that men who have spent their time focusing on things other than dating and finding and maintaining a wife will one day weep bitterly because of their sincere loss, and would give anything for a chance to come back to earth just for a few months to have the opportunity to earn any righteous woman again, no matter what she looks like on the outside. And I do believe that though men will refuse women in this life, NO righteous woman will be denied having a righteous man to rule over her and give her joy and pleasure in the eternities.
We are taught that woman can be sealed to men in multiples. This again can be hard doctrine for the daughter who is deceived by Satan about who she is, and the treasure she is to Jesus. I think we as women need to sit at the feet of God and find answers about who we are, and embrace the fact that we need a righteous man to rule over us, the same way we love Jesus to rule over us. Because we know Jesus would do anything for us, because He already did EVERYTHING for us. He lived AND died for us. Are we upset that Jesus died for our sisters too? Of course not, because in Him all of our needs are fulfilled. Men are to become like Christ. God expects husbands who are sealed to more than one wife to take care of all the needs of each of his wives in the eternities. It would not be fair for a woman to feel uncared for or left out just because her husband has responsibility to other women. It is therefore the man's responsibility to work at maintaining the needs of each wife, and for the wife to be patient with him, and rely on Jesus to meet her needs until her husband is perfected. (I am talking about in the eternities and not in this life where being sealed to two women who are alive at the same time is strictly prohibited by the church).
The choice to submit oneself to a man is always free for the woman, and she has to feel totally safe and taken care of spiritually, emotionally, and physically and then choose to offer herself freely, without any pressure for her choice. If she serves the Lord faithfully, her needs will be taken care of and God will see to that.
This is a small tidbit of the understanding I have received from Heavenly Father concerning His love for His daughters. He has told me that He is the ultimate feminist. He wants women to have perfect freedom of choice and be wooed by good men before they offer themselves to them. I would commend all daughters of God to pray and to learn of Jesus' great love for you. God promises the faithful will share in everything that God has. God has many daughters. He intends to share them with faithful, honest, and righteous men as they work to become worthy of them. Meanwhile, God has His daughters in His hands and will provide for them in every way if they choose to receive His provision.
I believe these words, while imperfect, are true. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.